2009年8月25日 星期二
A New Life
Today, we have entered second grade of high school. It's just let me feel a real life, a hard way, an interesting course. During this course, maybe I will find out that study isn't a easy way but it may likes an experience that everyone will go through. High school life is a hard road for me to walk, it don't like junior high, have much free time to do that I want to do because we have to prepare a big exam for enter in university in the future. So I hope god will bless me to guide me on the new way.
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Hello Daniel,
It's good to see your new blog, and more than pleasant to see your continual progress.
About this composition:
1. The tense. The first sentence should use past simple or present perfect to express the idea that you "have become" a second grade high school student. So, the sentence should be: "Today, we entered/have entered...."
2. The second sentence. One sentence can have only one verb, so the beginning of this sentence should be: "It just makes(here "make" is more suitable than "let") me feel..." If my understanding is correct, you can add some details to this sentence to make this to be like: "It just makes me feel that a real life, a hard way, AND an interesting course are laid in front of me."
3. Some revisions to the third sentence. "During this course, maybe I will find out that study isn't AN easy way, but it IS ("like" can be omitted here; by the way, here "like" is a preposition so it has no "s") an essential (or other adjectives) experience that everyone MUST ("must" will be better here than "will") go through."
4. The fourth and fifth sentences. Remember, conjunctions are necessary when combining two or more sentences. Or you can also use "periods"(".") or "semicolons"(";") to separate sentences. Hence, you should write: "High school life is a hard way for me to walk; (here I prefer using semicolon or period) it DOESN'T (the subject is 3rd-person singular) like THAT(in replace of "life" since you are comparing two lives here)of the junior high, WHICH(use relative pronoun here to add details to the former line) HAD(the junior life has already been a past memory) much free time to do THE THINGS THAT I wanted to do/WHAT I wanted to do,(those within the two commas are supplementary details; the main sentence continues here) because we HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS(add these to make your thought clearer) have to prepare FOR (prepare for + something) a big ENTRANCE EXAM to enter universities in the NEAR future."
5. Just some small parts to revise in the last sentence. "So I hope God will bless me AND guide me THROUGH the new way."
Cheers!
Terence
Greetings,
Please continue the writing practice. (There are still two for this week.) Some progress has already been made, and continual practice can enlarge it even more.
Terence
Hi Daniel,
Please don't forget to keep writing.
Two compositions a week, at least. When I get back, please hand in your works for these weeks, if you write on paper. Or if you write on your blog, please keep the pace (i.e., two pieces a week).
And, remember to finish your assignments!
Terence
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